Gender

Gender is an interesting subject for me. Though I lack a penis, in my mind I view myself as male. I prefer male pronouns, though I understand that some feel too uncomfortable to use them and it leads to excessive amounts of confusion. Plus, I am required to keep myself looking "presentable" if I want to keep my hair chopped. Why? Because chopped hair is a guy thing. Because ladies don't wear baggy, ripped pants or flannel shirts no matter how comfy they are. Because young women never go to bed with wet hair and walk into school with stray clumps of hair shooting toward the ceiling. Because girls always give a damn about how they look because no matter how intelligent, sensitive, qualified, or whatever you are, you will still be judged by your appearance, and dammit, I'm sick of that bullshit. This is what is dealt to me when I don't look as nice as the girls who spend $100 per pair of jeans. I've been wearing the same pair of pants since 6th grade; when they get holes, I sew them up. They're still good.

Though the primary influences in my life would argue that the plastic life is the life of a girl, I learned my gender roles from other sources. For as long as I'm stuck with this body, with its feminine curves and delicate features, I refuse to accept that I have to obey the roles. I don't remember where I learned the new and fascinating concept that you don't have to eat what was shoved down your throat. The traditional gender roles have simply always triggered my gag reflex. I've always admired the feminists throughout history, and I've constantly found myself the only representative of my sex in a variety of situations. The only thing I mind about this is that people assume that my gender is in agreement with my plumbing, and it results in conflicts. Special attention is unwanted here. I'm just as man as they are, though I will never be able to make that clear.

You can take back your plaster/make-up, those awkward dresses, those ankle-snapping stilettos. I'm a man whether you like it or not.